The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
