How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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