So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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