If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
