Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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