so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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