This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
