my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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