Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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