I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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