I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
