Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize