Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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