I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
