I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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