There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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