my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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