I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
