You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
