Will you blow on my dice?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
