did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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