He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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