That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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