O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
