Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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