I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
