Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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