Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
she smelled like a LAN party
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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