you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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