I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
