Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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