Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
