he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
