Please don't use social media to get back at me.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
