Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
