why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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