Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
