That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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