I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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