Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
a search helicopter?!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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