I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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