She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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