He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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