; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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