So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
