How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize