Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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