Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
