..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize