I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
