Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
