Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
