Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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