You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
