I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
