I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
