Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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