I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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