Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
