So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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