i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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